Wednesday, January 14, 2009

it have been a month plus ever since jerel left.. and it is time to close this blog le. My memories with him should just end here and i have already forgotten him.. Past memories would be nice, bud too bad, we cant go back to the past bud move on..

this period of time, i learn how to be more independent and also enjoyed being single.. loving my fellow friends and sister who are there for me and accompany me to walk tis difficult time. i really appreciate the things they done for me.. thank you..

Thursday, December 18, 2008

hmm.. just done my op in the afternoon.. feeling dizzy now.. so wouldn really talk much at all.. i felt happy that i m fine.. feeling afraid before the op bud now ok le.. cos got friends support ma.. before the op, i talked to li zhia and after the op, he is the first one who know i m out from the op.. i called him when i was just outside the operating theatre while waiting for the nurses to wheel me back to the ward.. after that, i called cassandra and she also know that i called li zhia first and i think she knew it le ba?? hahas.. back to the ward, the nurses return me my implant and i took a photo of it.. EEE!! so big!! hahas..

my leg was wrapped like a pig leg like that.. swelling!!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

hmm.. time passed so fast, jerel left me for about one week 3days le.. still coping with the hurt that he left.. bud it is ok.. feeling better each day.. i have been with tian ling, cassandra, germaine, shi kai, han, kai xiang, shi kai's friend (i dunno the name) together go out. we went to watch movie on sat. we watch the twilight.. so nice.. how i wish my bf is vampire?? To me a vampire is better than a human being.. hahas.. i dunno?? this is what i think..

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

hmm.. life still goes on without jerel around bud i have a group of good friends around and there for me.. Although i know the road ahead is very hard to walk bud i know i can make it to the very end..

I know time can heal the the wound within me and also time can help to solve everything, time also can change a person bud time cant turn back to the past where we had our happy memories.. missing everything when i was with him.. bud i just need time to faster forget about the hurt and move on. It may be difficult bud at least i tried.

i kept on wondering y sad memories couldn be erase easily bud happy memories can? i realise that many people carry grudges than remenber those happy memories we spend together. hmm.. need to read up more about humans brains and there emotion level to answer my question here.. hmm.. now i also dunno how to solve alot of problem bud just hope time can solve everything..

Human psychology is very hard to understand bud i m willing to try and get a deeper understanding about those things.. willing to give it a try in everything.. gettting used to the new life i plan for myself.. adapting to the reality..

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Hmm.. broke up with jerel on the 6th of december 08. life still goings on, and it is time to adapt myself with the changes.. whatever i done in the past, has been past, bud look forward to my future with my eyes open wide.. hahas..now i only think about my studies.. relationship may come a bit later..

The time with jerel may not be short and may not be long. 8mths together, during this periodof time, i really enjoyed every moment with him. From the day we started off in the hosp until now, i still love him. bud somehow things just cant worked out. cant blame anyone. during a relationship, both parties have given their very best, bud if really not suitable then leave. better for the both parties.

During this period i may have done alot of things for him, bud then it is over le.. probably we both dunno how to cherish each other. bud say all this also too late le.. whatever can be done already done le.. i just have to be strong and move on.. we can still be friend.

Going through so many problems, and troubles together, somehow got a bit cant bear, bud learning along the way to stay strong.. all the best for his future.. i will live better after this de

Saturday, October 25, 2008

hmm.. many things have changed.. the trees in the forest are no longer green.. they have all turned yellow and they would start to fall off the tree. bud somehow the process of the new leaves grow and the tree is green again.. same goes to life.. life is just a process of things that keeps on repeating and repeating again and again.. never ending process..

Sometimes i would ask myself, why is relationship so weird? repaeting the same things that have happened again and again.. you may quarrel today and was mad about each other and also premise that we would never quarrel again.. bud still quarrels still persist.. To me, loving a person is a lifetime promise and i would never let him go alone when he is in time of trouble.. whether he is rich or poor, sickly or healthy, you must still be with him till the end.. When someone get married, the couples would made their wows infront of god, family, relatives and friends. The couples would share their happy moment together and also to the rest of the people who witness the wedding. it is the happiest moment for them.

I simply dun understand why are there people out there who actually abuse the time they have with each other.. Doesnt even cherish their partner's feelings and also hurt them again and again.. i dun understand. i thought loving a person is to give her care, concern, love and protection.. bud some guys failed to do so..

after doing some work as a social worker who deals with some ex-offenders, i realise that there life is so different from us.. they didnt have much love from their family, thats why they turned to be bad. i felt pity for them. Life is so fragile.. one mistake, there wouldn be turning back. i have a real story to share..

*the names here are not their real names*

Fanny and Terence love each other deeply and also they have enjoyed every moment they have with each other.. Although their age gap was a big differences of 12years, bud they still love each other deep down their heart. after dating for about 6mths, fanny found out that she was pregnant with terence baby. Terence was happy bud at the same time he have changed to another person.. Terence restrict fanny from contacting her friends and also doesnt allow fanny to tell any of her friends that she was pregnant. fanny felt depressed. They actually wanted to get married after they have given birth to the baby bud fanny's dad disaprove of this wedding. Fanny felt more troubled and lost. she dun even know what to do..

Under terence's control, fanny is just like a bird who is locked in the cage and cannt fly. Fanny told some friends about her situation and her friends felt worried about her. Terence sometimes would abuse fanny when he is angry and fanny lost alot of blood and almost got a miscarriage. the doctor inform them that the baby may not be normal. the both of them doesnt really care anymore about the baby. fanny really love terence alot bud why terence have turned out to this way. she couldn understand. fanny's parents suggest that after giving birth to the baby, give the baby back to terence and leave him for good..

soon 7mths have passed and also fanny have to give birth to the baby soon, unfortunately, the baby didnt survived. it is pretty sad. Fanny finally left terence for good and start a new life.

the end.

To me, i really pity fanny and really hope she would start a new life.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

hmmx.. it have been a long time ever since i post my blog. Have been busy with my job and currently i am no longer working anymore, looking for a new job. Working life have been tiring for me as i have to concentrate my work during working hours and then i also have to do alot of computer works too. Many people have been telling me that working in the office have alot of politics, but i didnt believe what they have said until i have actually seen it myself. A little mistakes you have done, can also caused the boss to have a reason to sack you. It is terrible working in an office.

Usually after work, i would meet my dear dear at toa payoh stadium and accompany him to run. It may be tiring to do this everyday, but i do it is because i know my dear dear have to do his IPPT test soon , so must start training up his stamina. Whenever i see my dear dear run, i felt sad. I felt sad is because i am unable to run with him due to my knee operation 4mths ago, cant really give so much pressure on that leg at the moment. As my leg regaining back its strength, i have told myself that i must train my leg well so that i could faster accompany my dear to run on the track together. Looking forward to that day.

Yesterday my dear dear have brought me to his company's BBQ at east coast park. i felt very shy facing his collegues as i am so much younger than them. They are all pretty nice people to makes with. All so hyper, bubbly and also caring towards everyone around. It is pretty good to have such collegues around who would care and also help when you have trouble. I really envy my dear dear to have such a bunch of friendly collegues around.

My relationship with my dear dear can saying is stable now. We have worked some plans for our future and i believe we would make it. We believe that we can solve all the problems together and we can also work towards our future together too. Thinking back on my past few relationships, i think my current partner have actually changed and taught me alot of things. I have now changed for a better person and the credits should go to him. To me, now i actually have learned how to think positively and also brightly. I could still remenber i was so childish in my past few relationships and also have made alot of silly, nonsense and stupid mistakes. I have regreted now for making those back time. I know that it would never too late to change for the better as everyone would always have the chance to change.

My dear dear loves gaming alot and i have gone gaming with him quite a number of times. But sad to say, i have always lost to him. He is so good in gaming wheras i m picking up now. After playing so many types of games with him, i think i like the command and conquer the most. It is fun, exciting and also challenging. You have to build up your own troops and machine to fight against your enemy. To me, i think this game is worth playing as you get to use your brain to think. I m going to crack my brain and need to fight my dear dear. hahas. And this time, it would be the time where he would be defeated under my hands!! MUHAHAS..

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